One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
