Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
