She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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