shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
When are your genitals available?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
