I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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