Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I need a beard to bite.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
