operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
