Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
