I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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