i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
