i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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