Just cropdusted the office
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize