we're blogging at a bar
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize