we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I smell stomach acid.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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