Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
