This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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