It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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