just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
