love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
