The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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