and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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