Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
