but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
