You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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