we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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