Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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