You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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