eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
