super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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