i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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