You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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