All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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