He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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