She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
