its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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