i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
