I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
