He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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