I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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