So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize