I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
