if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How does it feel to date your dad?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
