I wannas sexs uuuuu
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
