After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
