Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
