So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So much Jack, so little girl.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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