he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
