Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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