It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
