I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
