All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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