How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i wish my penis had a tongue
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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