Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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