I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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