my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
