Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
