i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
