I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize