Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
