you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
